When i was 11 years old i couldn t fall asleep anymore. I used to tell my grandma that I knew she would die someday, that time just flies too fast and I was afraid that everything I knew wouldn t exist anymore.  I realized then that all things have to end, myself included. It was overwhelming and i cried myself to sleep each and every night. After a while I Eventually forgot about it. Still, from time to time, this hyper awareness of one s condition comes back. The existential angst often makes me feel like reality is slipping away. Now, I don t usually cry anymore. I sit there with my fear as we re both passing through time. it shapes me and I m accepting this weakness as a part of me and as one of the things that make life insanely beautiful. This fear is one of the things that keeps me moving forward, finding meaning and putting myself out there in the torrent of emotions. It makes me vulnerable and this is the real beauty of life. Being hurt and being submerged.  Feeling everything as intense as one can. And being at peace with one s feelings. 

   The fear of time passing or the ,,idealized past”is a recurring theme in my work, as it is in my life. It s the reason why I shoot mostly expired films and why I almost always destroy them. Also, it s why I mostly shoot naked bodies. I find them sincere and vulnerable, scarred, mesmerizing and so beautifully touched by time. 

    To each person who stood in front of my camera, I thank you again. Through you I finally found a way to bring all these feelings forward. To each person that told me he/she appreciates my work or shared it, your words meant a lot to me. 

 

,,Something that keeps time from passing” is the title of this series.