The Tsar☢️Hammer:

 

Being the magnum opus of late (self proclaimed) nuclear physicist Doctor Vakhawsky, this “revolutionary” device is renowned for its GENIUS application of a uranium fueled hydrogen bomb as the weapon’s main source of power for propulsion. “Once detonated, the explosive energy is released through the rear(??), converting it into the driving force which thrusts the structure’s flat end onto unsuspecting enemies at a velocity that could only be described as SATANIC, instantaneously pulverizing them and all other obstacles down to pathetic, molecular smithereens,” Vakhawsky explained in an interview.

 

Harness the imperial might of the DEVIL’S RAGE as you wield the world’s dumbest idea for a destructive weapon ever conceptualized, essentially condensed into a multi-megaton mallet of mayhem. ⚠️ Both weapon and user (along with any individual present within an estimated GOD-knows-how-many meter radius) will be rendered nonexistent after single use. Be sure to strictly follow safety guidelines and enjoy your brand new thermonuclear BLUNT weapon. I have no idea what I’m talking about. Just wanted to use big words.