one+1minus1=?
Kaila | Christie | Both
Death.
Life.
Earth.
Rebirth.
Envelop this body
arrive without knocking and welcome me into my own body
The resonance of earth, against my skin,
like sunrise burning life the grass beneath my back and death
spine drops to earth as wind shudders with the crackling leaves.
Sometimes, it seems to be written in my eyes, and cheeks, and lips
Weigh my heart set in stone
Nose and chin at absent attention.
The silence carries all my pain
They. they..
Left stains of blood and harm on walls life
my heart is in the ceiling. through the floor death
And eyes and hearts and memories
Earth expanding to let blood-flow just, flow through and rebirth
if heart is symphony is life orchestra and death a silent bar?
Reluctant to this observation of sadness.
My body remembers too much.
This gut kind of sadness
Why is it so quiet
I can hear the fear rushing through my veins
Loneliness is a ghost
It has no shadow
Still my body remembers this in quiet reflections.
This asphyxiated blood drips over their cheeks, and under my lips.
It stains as it seeps into my abraded skin,
That is to say, sometimes I don’t remember what the sun feels like,
And I know, the night is not the shadow of an angry bruise. I think it must be trapped in my body somewhere inside a galaxy of hollowed paper-bark-tree, somewhere
the clouds have gone astray and - nothing feels like - anything because I can’t - feel - anything
My stomach knots at suicide jokes
The clouds have gone astray and maybe my eyes are stars in the dark are midnight sun too ---
My blood runs hot, it remembers those hard news better than I think I do.
Because even though you always said you hated hugs,
The wind howls the sky grey and the ocean twists and cracks and splits rocks open.
and yet my bones feel heavy at night.
all I want is to feel your skin again,
I wonder what my muscles remember.
Life
Death
Earth
Rebirth
My chest remembers dreams.
it’s jaw-clamping-cramping-shoulders-into frenzy, it’s
pores, leaking sheets, fitting scalp, breaking sweat Stutter, walking heart, in my mouth
Remembers dreams
Still I am ringing out drops of red tears, subdued emotions.
Spring has come and plants are blooming from your earth
You were always so grounded
The way I loved it when you smiled, reminds me, still walking barefoot of my solace.
I back away
you, porcelain bathtub tracing my dirt brown skin
Winter’s here and you’re gone,
And I am still drowning
in all the breaths you were supposed to take.
and I am still here, remember? I am still here, remembering.
© Christie Ma 2019.
