This was the first creative element of my ‘Introduction to Creativity and Learning’ module in my first year at Goldsmiths.  Within this element we had to create a box that displayed our personality.  When we were given the brief it was met with a bit of apprehension and worry.  It was an early stage of the course and people were just getting to know one another so opening yourself up in such a way felt daunting.  Within my box I tried to display the complex layers of people, particularly myself.  The outside of the box displayed what I believed people saw of me on a day to day basis.  However, as you got closer you realised there were doors that needed to be opened to get the deeper meaning of the piece, just as you do with a person.  This permitted the viewer to see some of the thoughts and worries I sometimes had.  I managed to do this by collaging the outside of my box with pictures of me and people close to me, highlighting what people usually see of me and how I come across in public.  However in the past, and sometimes present, I have experienced issues with anxiety and depression.  This was usually something that I kept hidden away, with not a lot of people knowing how I have to push myself to get into the position as shown on the outside of my box.  I wanted to use this piece to open up the doors and share some of the things I go through to get to what people see of me.

To gain inspiration for my work I took a trip to the Tate Modern, Bankside.  Whilst there I saw pieces such as 'The Fig Leaf' by Francis Picabia and 'Family Jules' by Barkley L Hendricks.  I was inspired by both pieces for different reasons, Picabia’s piece was littered with hidden meanings  and I was fascinated by the fact that the artist was actually covering over the original piece.  When looking at Hendricks' portrait I was encouraged by how hard hitting it was, and how it dealt with stereotypes and misconceptions.  I felt like these were issues that I wanted to deal with within my piece, covering up the hidden meaning and showing people that what they initially see isn't always necessarily all that is there.  I am also very keen on Pop Art and wanted to display this on the outside of my box trying to choose images with bright, bold colours and framing all the pictures with a white frame to make them stand out and give a sharp, bold impact. 

As well as gaining inspiration from my trip to the Tate I also found meaning through certain theories.  These theories look at mechanisms for dealing with worry and the issue of anxiety.  Such as managing a potentially stressful situation by dealing with it face on.  If you are worried about a particular social situation, immerse yourself in that situation and don't hide away from it (Tucker-Ladd, 2013).  This is the process I went through with my box, worry and anxiety are a part of me and my life.  I wanted to release some of these anxieties and share them with my colleagues.

I feel like this type of project is great for breaking down barriers and getting new groups to open up to each other and discuss their identities and who they are.  Giving people a small box and allowing them to run with it is good as everyone is starting off with the same thing and then making of it what they will.  I chose to use my box to open up about how my worry, anxiety and depression affects my life. However others used their box to show their culture, religious or spiritual beliefs, things they were interested in, sports clubs they followed, etc.  So it can make for a really colourful and varied space when all the boxes are put together.  One thing I feel is important to be aware of if using this style project with young or/and vulnerable people possibly as a form of expression or art therapy, especially as a 'one off project',  is that unpacking these issues may create a wonderful and array of qualitative material to assess however your then leaving the participant to deal with these issues.  It may be appropriate to facilitate follow up sessions to see how being involved in the project has affected the individuals.