I apologize for my english ; fact is, this whole project need some statements. I hope they'll be clear in spite of my shortcomings in this language.

 

I've been aracnophobic for 20 years. Moving to another town meant lots of awful things to me ; this whole adventure ended making this phobia the most manageable part of being, or better, feeling distant from everything and everyone.

 

I literally lived in the dark in the last year. My side of the room I shared with my roommate had this little window on a mansard roof which was always closed on our beds. The time we forgot it opened the sun woke us up from our dreams like we were forced to face an unbearable reality.

 

I felt good, in the dark.

I think it's even more of a common problem out there, but here it is : sometimes it feels bad, always having to make such an awkward explanation for being yourself. Living in modern times means also to bear the burden of being someone that can be recognized. There's no chance of escape.

 

We often feel like we have to say something, or just something to say ; but how often we find someone listening?

 

How often have you felt trapped?

How often have you felt like stuck in the middle of reality and fantasy, in between desire and resignation?

 

I realized sometimes we wonder about being forgiven. Being loved. We feel like something is missing yet we are enough for ourselves : when you think about all of this, you're basically telling yourself that you don't hate yourself that much.

The friendly stranger looking at you in your dreams, saying you're better than this, is yourself. You know you worth more than this. Even when you're wrong.
Even when you're the worst piece of shit on earth.

 

I may have done things to feel sorry about ; I sure have lost a lot. But the fact is, things need to be done.
And in the end, the truth is that even if explanations and statements are good to make a point, they don't have to be an excuse.

Nobody should have to live an entire life scared in the dark.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wish the best for everyone, even the few ones, who'll reach this.


Thank you for reading.