For Indian women, losing their husband is more than just daunting. Despite coming a long way from the time social evils dominated society, Indian widows still have to abide by dehumanising practices. These practices not only turn them into social outcasts but also affects their lifestyle on a day-to-day basis.
Losing your partner is a traumatic ordeal for any person. What anyone needs during this time in their life is the support of those around them - their family and society, that softens the blow to their life, directly or indirectly, for the rest of their lives and told that their is no chance for them to have a "normal" life.
Why do we continue to subject women to atrocities and share them, if they reject such oppressive practices, why can't we create a society that focuses on rebuilding a bereaved women's life rather than trapping her in a chasm of trauma and suffering for the rest of her life? Its high time that we re-think these our stance on these practices and liberate these women from the unnecessary restrictions we have imposed on them.
It was one day, sun was above my head, walking with bare foot, inside the woods, we were four people carrying a weight of above 70kg's on shoulder, there were people who was celebrating with music and the rest of the people mourning with grief, from far I could smell the odour of graveyard, It was my uncle whom I was carrying.
At home my aunt was sitting alone in a dark room with a Diya light, singing a song in a regional language - Thinking of her husband.
And she was called as - " AMANGALI "
The ideal of a married woman decorated with sindoor or kumkuma,
glass bangles, mangala sutra, toe ring, nose pin and goes on and on
Observance of these rituals are proud declarations that a woman is married and that she belongs to someone - her husband.
Proud? Yes, you read it right.
These rituals separate married women from others and give them a revered higher standards compared to other women, including widows or women who are separated from their husbands.
When a women's husband dies, other married women in the family and neighbourhood surround her and strip the widow of these marital decorations.
And called her as - AMANGALI
This is a project - A virtual story telling through a series of photos of Widow customs in India.
When my aunt was made to do all these dehumanising customs in front of the society, Only one thing which striked me was What is the reason behind in doing such practices or customs, When I asked elderly people - the only answer I got was - Our elders used to do, and we should also follow it, I never got a concrete answer, what is the reason behind in doing such customs.
I started to understand and read about, Why should a women?
Keep kumkuma / sindoor?
Wear bangles?
Wear thali?
What is the science behind it , and which was the most haunting question for a quite a long time.
Here is the story of AMANGALI and her Pain
Married women in the family and the neighbourhood surround AMANGALI and strip the marital decorations, They break the bangles, smudge the sindoor / kumkuma, slit the Thaali, and toe ring. And the Amangali cannot wear again. She is also considered as unlucky, and so is forbidden from participating in other ceremonies which is to be auspicious, including weddings and child naming ceremonies.
Smudging the kumkuma / sindoor
The human body is divided into 7 vortices of energy, called as chakras, beginning at the base of the spine and ending at the top of the head. Thus, the kumkuma is placed where Indian's believe to be the most important spot for receptivity to be enhanced
The scientific reason behind keeping Vermilion on forehead -
Before that let me tell you how is Vermilion made up off - Turmeric is dried and powdered with a bit of slaked lime, which turns the rich yellow powder into a red colour.
The blood supply to the face muscles is facilitated while applying kumkuma, the points on the mid-brow region and Adnya-chakra are automatically pressed, This facilitates the blood supply to the face muscles, By applying kumkuma, the soul energy ( Atmashakthi ) is awakened in her. Due to kumkuma obstacles are created in the entry of the negative energies in the body of the woman through the Adnya-chakra.
Breaking Bangles
Normally our wrists are in constant movement, In case of any ailments or any checkup's, even our pulse is measured through our wrists. The bangles and wrist are in constant friction with each other which leads to an increase in the blood circulation level
Bangles help in maintaining and recharging our energy levels as well. The electricity passing out through the skin is again reverted to our own body, because of the ring shaped bangles, Since the bangles are in circle shape, there are no ends to pass the energy outside, and thus the energy is reverted back to the body.
Slitting Thaali
Mangalsutra / Thaali is made up of Gold , its colour is Yellow, which is called as Agnibarana.
According to Ayurveda - the ancient Indian science - pure gold has a number of healing properties, and the most important of them is improved heart health. Ayurveda reveals that wearing a mangalsutra / thaali close to the heart
( touching the skin ) attracts heart functioning. Some of the health benefits of wearing mangalsutra includes -
*Wearing a mangalsutra helps in the development of the immune system.
*It regularises blood flow and keeps her fresh and energetic.
*Regularises blood pressure.
*Stimulates the Surya-nadi or the Sun-channel in the woman body and awakens the inherent energy in it.
Wearing White Saree
The only colour a women will be looking vibrant and beautiful is Red, Once she is called as Amangali, colours of her dreams and life is snatched by the society,
You ever heard of the red string? It's an invisible string that binds you to your soulmate. The red string of fate. I don't know if it's real, But strangely, it's the only myth about soulmates that I want to believe.
In Hinduism, white is considered the colour of mourning and is a colour one wears to a funeral or memorial service. In parts of north and central India, it is believed that, Amangali needs to be in a constant state of mourning once her husband dies. She is compelled to adorn a white ( or a colour close to white ) saree for the rest of her life from the day of her husband's death
The Agony of being Amangali
In several Hindu and Muslim households across the country, widow's are confined to their homes, and sometimes even their rooms, they give a separate set of clothes, separate set of utensils, they are not allowed to use mirror, nor any kind of cosmetics , and are not allowed to have any kind of interaction with the outside world. While some are made to adopt this solitary life for few months, but many are made to go through this the rest of their lives in isolation and society-inflicted shame, When there are strangers around, even an accidental sighting of their face is seen as ominous and thus widow's are made to cover their face with the pallu when they are in contact with outsiders.
The above image shows - Amangali looking herself in a plate as a reflection of mirror
Renouncement of identity and wealth
This is one such dehumanising practice is the psychological abuse widows go through even today. Once a woman's husband dies, she is immediately referred to as a mere object - 'it' instead of 'she' - and even basic human rights are taken away from her. to top it all, she is stripped off any inheritance from the husband's family and is ignored from any kind of auspicious moments at home, Amangali. is also considered as ' untouchables ', and it is still believed that even their sight or slightest touch can bring bad luck to a person on the receiving end.
Kept away from Celebrations & Festivals
Orthodox Hinduism demands that women renounce earthly pleasure after the death of their husband and live out their days in worship. These women often are ostracised by the society and considered cursed. Festivals and other auspicious ceremonies are forbidden for Amangali, as it is believed that their involvement would bring bad luck for others. Amangali's are expected to dress only in white, and to stay away from the festivals of colours and light.
A Hope - and a path - for Change
If a Amangali wears a white saree, give up fancy food, give up marriages and other social gatherings and spend the rest of her life decaying in corner, then I am cursed wife decaying in a corner, then I am a cursed wife who loved her husband and now deserves this life of renunciation. If, on the other hand, I refuse to conform to these rules, then I am a woman of bad character who did not love her husband.
I wonder how systematically these rituals and customs deprive woman and girls of joys in life. Patriarchy so efficiently uses strong cultural norms- even in moments of grief - to further the oppression of women.
But there is a Hope- and a path - for change, when " we " family and society stand with Amangali as a support, our culture moves closer to a time when a woman's love for her husband is not measured by her choice to follow these rituals.
More Images from the Series
Behind the Scene at location
The main pillars of Amangali
Team and Cast :
Cast : Divya Bharathi as Amangali
Story, Concept & Photography : Harish Kumar N
Assistant Photography : Rick Henry
Cinematography : Imran Khan
MUA : Yashoda
Poster Design : Madan CP
Production Team : Nagesh Yadav, Tharun Kumar Yadav, Aneez, Keshav Gowda
Special Thanks : Radha Chandrashekhar for accepting and welcoming the story for her daughter
Special Thanks : To my sister Hamsaveni, who helped me finding the location, for food and shelter to the entire crew, and also to the people of Masti.
