Domestic violence; this topic makes me nostalgic, I hate violence, any form of violence. Nothing scares me like being around an abusive person. I mean any one who uses fear, guilt, shame, violence and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under their thumb. It's even worse when that person is a special someone; a life partner. Whilst, domestic violence is an age old phenomenon. It is quite noticeable that most people have accepted it as something that is bound to happen. Intentionally ignoring the horrors and the pain it presents to the victims. It breaks my heart to see victims of domestic violence defend their oppressors as they painfully hide their scars. Even more irritating is when the society motivates the perpetrators and tries to silence the casualties. Cultural beliefs about family,forcing victims to regretfully stay in violent relations.
Violence can be so blithe for people to turn a blind eye to, as it often happens without any witnesses and it is sometimes facile not to get involved. However, by publicly speaking out with one-voice against domestic violence,we can call into question the attitude towards violence and show that domestic violence is a crime. One in three women may suffer from abuse and violence in her lifetime. This is a ghastly human rights violation, and it still remains one of the most obscure and underrated pandemics of our time. Women trapped in violent relationships need to know that there's no shame in talking out and walking out on their abusive partners
Gone are the days when domestic violence went unnamed and unblamed. Hiding under the mask of misery will not save you from those solid fists. You are not the darkness you are dealing with. Purpose to be the gleam that refused to surrender to an abusive partner. Open your eyes and take a perceptive leap. Hack to the fact that walking away from something unhealthy is brave even if you creep your way out the door. surely, life is too beautiful to live it trapped, abused and hiding under the shame of it all. Stop clenching to violence and dejection!
From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. Overcoming abuse doesn’t just happen, It takes positive steps everyday. Let today be the day you start to move forward.The world for many domestic abuse victims can be in the depths of seclusion and filled with fear. Waiting for the perfect time could keep you from taking hold of the opportunity to change your life and save yourself from more black eyes, busted lips, sprained wrists and painful bruises. Yes, we understand that every relationship has arguments or disagreements. However, the arguments and disagreements should be respectful. Both partners should be free to state their opinions,make their own decisions and be themselves. Don't be the punching bag!
There are times when nothing seems to move in the right direction. You either feel trapped or lost in the pandemonium and confusion of violence. Days follow nights as weeks turn into months and months into years, but you remain at the same place of hopelessness. The secret is out! Your hopelessness in that abusive relationship is a powerful reminder that you can’t do it all by yourself. Ask for help! As you make that broad step towards walking out, allow other people to get involved in your healing process by helping you put together your broken pieces. Reach out and connect with people who can give you vital support. Call to mind that the choice today is no longer allying violence and nonviolence. The choice is to guard your beautiful skin from painful scars and mind from fretfulness. Predominantly prioritizing on guarding yourself from pain and despondency. Choosing courage and confidence over fear.
If you have survived an abusive relationship and you are still trying to make things right for yourself, you are a hero! Even if the expression of your anguish and your exasperation takes a spill occasionally. Remember that no one is doing this for you. Only you can kick start your beautiful journey of healing. Only you can work your way up. At the end of the day, you are the victim. So practice lots of self care by learning how to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Be intentional about your welfare by consciously and sensibly dealing with the warfare. Do not suffer in silence, speak up and away from violence! STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!
Credits: Directed by Susan Nyabena.
Article by Mbithe Ndambuki
Photographer by martinsclip
Make up by Grace Omondi (shades of beauty)
