I don’t know where and how to begin.

The concept of my self-portraiture is mainly connected to what goes on in my mind. (1) The plants, together with the grass, represent my thoughts and ideas: complex.

The reason behind the “barong” I am wearing is in melancholic taste. Our brilliantly ingenious national costume I used conversely to image a concept of my meditated death. Because once, I wanted to end it all.

Being a six-footer, people see me as a strong person. A mentally healthy person who looks for the good in all situation and when stuck in difficult times they might ask, “what can I do today to make tomorrow a little bit better?” That is not me. I am easily disheartened. Deep down in my mind, I am at war with myself. Everyday I sit and stare at our high ceiling until I am ironically low in spirit. But at the start of each day, I get back up and just hope for an unruffled twenty-four hours.

Despite personifying a young adult in disarray, these plants serve a purpose while they make up majority of our environment. With them around me, I have the capacity to think. I am convinced that I am alive and free and dignified even though life has been tough on me lately. The serenity these greens provide remind me of what I have left in my bag: To fulfill personal accomplishments and prove myself to everyone.